You'd never guess we pro-breastfeeding people are in the minority. I emailed the article mentioned below to some friends and family, and this is just a sample of the replies:
1) Excerpt....."I shredded it," said Gayle Ash, of Belton, Texas, in a telephone interview."A breast is a breast -- it's a sexual thing."AACK, gag! Primitive idiots, is all the rant I can muster. The human body is what it is. Like in Zen..."Thing is thing, all the other prejudices andconnotations are in your mind." Are breasts mind controllers that will take over the world if we set their evil sexual selves free via breast feeding in public? Primitive idiots.
2) Isn’t it sad that it’s acceptable to wear a string bikini at the beach, but not acceptable to nurse your infant in public? What is wrong with this country? It boggles my mind how many people are uncomfortable with nursing in public and that they can only think of a breast as a sexual thing. Everything in our culture is about a lack of morality when it comes to sexuality, but taking care of your child is something you are supposed to hide to do!??????????????
3) Fuming? I’m just stunned and a bit perplexed. The underlying self-hatred (“it’s gross”—excuse me?) and fear of other women is troubling. So sad for them. And don’t they have anything better to think about? Wow. How about the miracle of life and the wonder of the human body. Oh well. Just remember, if anyone looks at you with disgust while you’re nursing, see if you can flash her some nipple to really get her riled up!
4)What is the matter with people that they are so offended by a nursing baby? A breast is a ‘sexual thing’??? I think that woman has been reading Playboy way too much (probably in the closet, so her son won’t see the pictures!) There is nothing ‘gross’ or offensive or sexual about feeding a child the way God intended a child to be fed, and I cannot begin to fathom where these people are coming from. But don’t let it get to you – just keep on keep on keeping on. The world is full of ignorant people, you can’t help bumping into one now and again.
Dude, my family rocks. See?
However.
I read the article, fumed, ranted and raged for a few hours. Then I had a revelation about myself that made me even angrier:
Just one day prior to reading this article, I was sitting in the Museum of Natural History, nursing the Ghoulie. Since their were several people around, I covered myself and her with a receiving blanket (thinking: Oh, she only minds a little bit). Then I looked around and reminded myself that I was sitting in the middle of a large exhibit on Native Americans. These are people whom we as a country claim to honor and respect for their simple lifestyle, for their attunement to nature. And I'm sitting their afraid to let some stranger accidentally see my breast as they walk by. Because yes, it is about fear and embarrasment. Covering up is not about propriety -- how can it be, if we keep shouting to the world that their is nothing improper going on?!
I'd like to say that I defiantly whipped off the receiving blanket and let Ghoulie get some air, as soon as I realized my mistake. I can say that I tentatively pushed it aside, and kept a burp cloth on my shoulder when I needed to adjust her latch.
Good, right?
No.
As I mention in the last post, this controversy was first brought to my attention by another (fantastic) mommy blog that I read frequently. Her post generated many, many comments. And a very large number of them said that breastfeeding in public is the thing to do, as long as it's discreet. Over and over, this is what I read. And face it, this is what almost all of us say. It's certainly been my practice for the last three months (except in my postpartum yoga class, which features more breast exposure than a Maxim photo shoot).
Why? Why be discreet? We have nothing to hide!!!
So someone else might see a breast when they aren't expecting to, if they honestly believe the only place for breasts is in the bedroom (or worse, in a magazine -- as long as it isn't a parenting mag!). They might get a little uncomfortable. They might even feel offended.
Ask yourself: How many things in public that you see offend you, or make you uncomfortable, on a regular basis? How often do you see sexist T-shirts, hear racist remarks, and see images of violence? The participating parties sure as hell don't seem concerned about offending you, do they?
Even if she can't understand them yet, my tiny baby hears and sees many of the same things I do. -- Except when she's nursing, then she pretty much blocks out everything else. Hmmn. Perhaps the best way to protect my child from all the negative influences in society is to walk around constantly feeding her. You know, a nice little breastfeeding bubble.
Maybe it's become a game of "offend or be offended." Now wouldn't that be sad?
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6 comments:
I love that our family is so much more 'with it' than a lot of people. I love that they can say the same thing in so many different ways and so colorfully that the point can reach more people.
I have my own opinion on the breast feeding 'scandal'of course. A parenting magazine puts on their cover a picture of a baby nursing from, well, the only place a baby can technically nurse from, a breast. It is a simple fact of life, whether you are a believer in nature, God, humanity or whatever, that this is THE way we are supposed to feed our children. It is how all mammals do it (nature), it is how God designed our bodies (God), and it is the way the human female body still works (obvious!). How anyone, male or female, religous, spiritual, agnostic, athiest or 'undecided', sexual or celibate can look at a boob in the mouth of a BABY!!! and say that it is sexual is actually really sick. The women (or men) that think this are, in fact, disgusting.
Think about it. It is a FACT that babies are supposed to eat this way. It is a fact that God/Nature/whatever built the female body (of most mammalian species, not just humans) to produce a type of 'milk' designed specifically to nourish our young. Through the years humans have turned the breast into something sexual (whether it was originally created to do two jobs or not I have no idea). We, you, I and those before us have transformed this piece of anatomy into something to lust over. But how in God's good name does that justify ANYONE reacting to a breastfeeding baby in such a negative way. What that reaction actually implies (but those reacting this way are far too ignorant to see this) is that they see the baby suckling from the teat as a sexual act. That calves getting milk from udders is perverse. And kittens nursing next to each other from mamma kitty is, somehow, a sort of incestual orgy! If they say a breast is still sexual no matter how it is displayed then that is exactly what they are saying. Should I get turned on when I see my wife and daughter feeding? I mean, it is ok for me to see my own wife's breasts as sexual, right? So, since that is normal, and a breast is always sexual, than watching them do this simple act of nature should fill me with lust. Right?
NO!!!!! That is sick. The Breast is sexual in my hands and a tool for feeding my baby in hers. Not both at all times. The people that say it is 'gross' are the people with the problem. I mean, do you wear latex gloves and close your eyes when you wipe? I hope so, cause touching your penis or vagina at anytime must be sexual. Even if you used it to relieve yourself two seconds ago and wiping is how we keep from getting infections!
Ok, now I am just working myself up. The ignorance in this country, this world, is mind-boggling. We have taken what is natural and villified it. Tried to make it 'gross' because we don't want to understand anything we dont want to understand. I say, women and men that are comfortable with this action of simple nature unite. Don't get all stupid and run around, breasts hangin out and proud, yelling about 'mommies rights' and such. Thats just going to cause a boob war with ignoramouses whose thoughts we should not even be acknowledging with our responses. Just do what is obviously right and natural and be ready to tell the angry perverts (thats what they are, I say, if they can look at an innocent babe eating and say it is sexual) to stop watching if they think it is so wrong.
My wife had a great idea. She will print up shirts saying "proud father of a breast feeding baby". No pictures of nipples. No bodacious ta-tas hanging out. Just a simple phrase. One that only a stupid person could question. Let them bring themselves out in the open. And then punch them in the face. That would be my suggestion. But that kind of defeats everything I have said. So I guess we do what we should be doing with all the ignorants of the world. The bigots, the white supremacists, the idiots who worship money. We educate them. Fact and truth are on our side. Let's use them.
Well said, Jake!!!!!You get the t-shirts going and I'll market them!!!!!
You really ought to write to BabyTalk.
Great post, Yogamama!
I think I was one of the people that said that I nurse discreetly in public, which I do, but when I think about it, the reason I bf discreetly is for other people's comfort level more than my own or my baby's. In fact, if it were fully accepted to bf "non-discreetly" I probably would. I just feel very self-conscious breastfeeding without some type of cover, knowing how many people would give me stares. Sad but true.
On the other hand, I feel that women who want to let their boobs hang out while they bf should have every right to. I have no problem with it whatsoever.
In fact, I have a son and when he turns 13, if he were to see a woman bf, I would not worry about it. If he asked, I would use the opportunity to educate him about how babies are fed. If anything, it's a great (and natural) teaching moment to educate boys about the fact that breasts are NOT just sexual objects.
In the meantime, I would love to get up the nerve to bf without a cover in public. Not quite there yet, especially now that I am bf a toddler (a whole other arena that people have "problems" with). Hopefully, someday people will get a clue about this stuff!
Thanks for adding to the debate.
If I'm being perfectly honest, I do have to admit that my discussion of "discretion" is still theoretical at best. It's like, I don't want to feel the need to be discreet, but I still do. I blame the culture.
Yesterday I covered up with a burp cloth instead of a receiving blanket, and even took that off once Ghoulie was latched on. We're getting there.
I think that is a great post. Breastfeeding is nothing to be ashamed of and I am proud to say I have breastfed 3 babies. I do believe in the importance of discretion in mixed company. I have fed with a cover and without. Mostly because I feel exposed without and I feel my own body is private.
You can't escape that our country views the breast as sexual. Even if it's function is NOT sexual. I am glad that women are standing up for their rights to feed where they choose. When a baby is hungry, let him eat! It's only fair.
Keep in mind though, that a young teen or preteen boy will almost assuredly see a sexual object when he sees a breast. Having a son, it makes me think, what's the problem with being discreet?
I guess I saw feeding my baby as something so special, so intimate. Nothing icky or wrong or unnatural. Just private in many ways. I was not ashamed. I am PROUD of breastfeeding.
You can't escape that the breasts God gave us have 2 functions.
Beautifully stated, Kristin. The idea of the intimacy and "personal-ness" of breastfeeding adds a new angle that I hadn't thought of before. Thanks for mentioning it.
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